Love and Fear
Love and Fear come together. If there is love with no reciprocal fear, know that such kind of love is not mature yet.
In English grammar, there is a thing called a verb. In general context, a verb is an action. Let’s just stop it here because things beyond simplicity become boring.
In life, love is a verb. It doesn’t happen on its own. When you see someone or something beautiful, your heart is attracted to it. That’s natural. But can we label that attraction as love? I don’t think so!
That attraction is the result of our subconscious mind that is designed to see beauty by overlooking anything less beautiful. That’s automatic, which means it is not in your control to avoid seeing the beauty created by God. This unintentional glance is no crime, but when you deliberately prolong that first glance, you are doing wrong. It will create desires in your heart that will lead you to do more wrong.
The action of loving has a direct connection with our mind. We love things, people, memories, and so much more on our own. And this whole phenomenon is so amazing that when the love grows, the fear grows too in parallel with that love.
Think of someone you love dearly. If you have true love for that person, you will surely have fear associated with that love. When the love increases, the fear also increases. I’ll tell you about the 3 fears that are present in our relationships of love, but we never discuss them.
1. Fear of Losing the Loved One
The first and foremost fear is the fear of losing the person you love. It’s there inside you, and it never comes out until something bad happens. When the love is mature, the fear of losing a beloved is also there. Even there are people who lack foresight and wisdom that they attach themselves to lifeless objects, let alone humans, and ignore the prime responsibility and the purpose of life!
2. Fear of Ignorance
You had a fight with your loved one. Now you are not talking to each other. Applaud on your modesty that you prepare a beautiful bouquet with an apologising message and send it to that person. You have a fear of ignorance from that person, but still, you take the first step. Now you are waiting for a reply. This waiting time will be the most difficult for you because you are afraid of getting ignored by the person you love. When there is mature love, there is fear of ignorance too.
3. Fear of Getting Hurt
When you love someone, you fear not to get hurt by that person. It shatters your heart when your beloved hurts you. That hurting could be emotional, mental, even physical, and it has a severe effect as compared to getting hurt by a stranger. That’s why wounds inflicted by loved ones are never healed. When the love is mature, the fear of getting hurt will always be there.
You have seen how I added the same phrase in the above three parts of fear. When there is mature love, there is fear. This concept came to me from Mr. Salman Asif Siddiqui, who inspired me, and when I shed some light on this concept, I was literally shocked because the whole concept shows a sign of maturity in love.
If there is love with no reciprocal fear, know that such kind of love is not mature yet.
- Salman Asif Siddiqui
Now, the affairs of humanity are different from the Divine relationship. For example, when you are distressed because your beloved made a mistake, you tend to ignore the person you love. But there is nothing like ignorance to the Almighty. No matter how many sins you have committed, how many times you disobeyed your Lord, you are just one sincere repentance away from the Divine Mercy. One tiny tear of remorse and all your crimes are washed away.
Such mercy is not available in this world because there is no one as Merciful as Allah.
This shows that God’s love is infinite for us. The punishment in the afterlife is due to our own acts. He who loves us endlessly, how He can punish us? The rule is simple. Obey Him and win His assent. That’s it.
Therefore, it’s stupidity to attach ourselves completely (100%) to the people and objects that are going to end. When we love someone, we expect a kind return from them. But when our expectation is not fulfilled, we feel disheartened.
That’s not the case with God. When you love Him, He will love you more, give you more, and you will be at ease. That’s why if you direct the core focus of your love towards Allah, you will never be disappointed in this life and in the hereafter.