Aug 24, 2021
My One Habit Died, So Did My Place in People’s Hearts
I accept the tradeoff because, at the end of the day, it’s me & my deeds!
People have so many habits, good and bad, and more amazingly, they practice such habits unconsciously, no matter wherever they are. I was no different than these people with a habit that made people accept me in their gatherings. As a fact related to social conformity, I never felt like that habit is costing me anything except giggling for a long time.
Yes, the habit I’m talking about is talking too much. You can take it however you want; talking without purpose, talking without thinking. Fortunately, this habit of mine died a few years ago through consecutive listening to religious scholars, mentors, life coaches, and my personal efforts as well.
If you don’t know what’s wrong with talking nonsense, then let me warn you that every word that is uttered from your mouth will either favour you or stand against you. There’s no third option. And you will see the consequence/reward soon.
I used to talk a lot, especially with my friends. It’s normal, I know. However, purposeless talking has never done any good to anyone. The words were mostly about mocking a teacher or humorously bashing someone’s personality, and that was it. We used to enjoy a lot without thinking that this very habit of senseless talk can cost us our intellect and wisdom.
Today, I barely talk without purpose. I don’t call myself an introvert, but yeah, you can call me an ambivert. With such a death, a new character was born, and I’m happy to have such a character that knows what, when, why, and how to talk. Although I’m still learning new skills and rhetoric art, I never expected the repercussions of limiting my words.
The Loss
I liked my friends before, and I still like them, but there came a gap between us. The loss is the shrinking of my circle of friends. They talk more and think less, and I can say that with a heavy heart. I no longer participate in gossip sessions with my friends because it kills my energy. I know it’s a beneficial loss worth celebrating, but still, I’m worried about those friends, and I try to guide them whenever possible.
I do celebrate this death whenever I control my mind from going crazy and hold the leash of my tongue. I feel victorious whenever my emotions try to overcome my intellect but fail just because my thoughts no longer roam around. But since I no longer conform socially, people look at me with despise. You can easily feel the hate in someone’s way of looking. It’s a common psyche, and you will know it in time.
I think they are taking me as an egoistic person, while the truth is I have stopped believing in the word ego. So the ego is dead too, and again, a celebratory moment.
Now I speak less and think more. I’m getting more eloquent, and my emotions are more balanced while talking. Speaking less saved me many times because with the death of this habit, I now understand the situation first and then speak if necessary.
The Solution
I still care for my friends, and whenever there is a large get-together, I try to adjust to them, but now it’s barely possible to change myself for them or fake my character.
Let me tell you that I’m not left without friends. There are still a couple of lads who share a similar mentality as mine. I consider one of them as my spiritual partner, and when I discuss this situation with him, he prudently says
“Aziz! You can’t go into someone’s mind and correct their thinking!”
But I believe it’s possible to do so. It needs pure intention towards humanity and a powerful and influencing character that can change people’s thinking.
Phew! I pity those who talk without stopping. We learnt in our childhood that think before speak. Now I realise how important a piece of wisdom that was! Such training should not be limited to kids only. I’ve seen grown-ups talking rubbish and uttering words that don’t suit their age and maturity.
As of now, I’m looking for more experience, knowledge, wisdom, and skills that will help me dive into people’s mindsets and see what’s really going on in their heads!
